- Look around at your clean, tidy house. Enjoy it. Once you have little ones running around, drawing on the walls, shedding continuous crumbs and emptying every single thing they can find all over the floor a hundred times a day, it’ll never be the same. Plus….you won’t have time to clean the house properly anymore.
2. Shower every day. Twice. Enjoy the peace and quiet. Stay in there as long as you like. Notice there is no one constantly opening the shower door and no child crying. In fact, you don’t even need to worry about a child crying. Ah bliss…..you can even take a nice long bath in peace. Get in there now!
3. Make the most of ‘you’ time on the toilet. This won’t happen anymore once you have kids. No longer will this be a private moment.
4. Enjoy eating in peace without begging hands held out and ‘pleeeease can I have some, Mummy’.
5. Sleep. Sleep. More sleep. Lie in bed ALL day and don’t feel guilty. Veg out, watch TV all day if you want. Sleep! Have lie-ins every weekend.
6. Go out. See friends, go to that ‘non-kid friendly’ friend’s house, because once the kids arrive, you’ll never go there again. Go to the cinema, go to nice restaurants with the Hubby. Go out late! Get your hair cut. Have a spa day. Have a special holiday if you can stretch to it, one where you can just lie by the pool without sh*tting yourself every 5 minutes that one of your kids is going to drown. Go away with your girlfriends because once you have kids, this isn’t happening for a long time.
7. Enjoy spending money on yourself. Actually, enjoy having money!
8. Enjoy looking nice, and wearing clothes that aren’t ‘breastfeeding friendly’ and kid-proof and don’t have snot on the shoulders and cheese smeared all over them.
9. Watch what you like on TV. Believe me, CBeebies is great but Postman Pat is a twat and Mr Tumble is a dickhead. Oh, and listen to music you like, loudly, in the car. Nursery Rhymes and the Moana soundtrack on repeat will drive you to the brink of your sanity.
10. Final point, despite all of the above, you’re going to be a great Mum. Your life will not be the same and sometimes things will be really hard, but becoming a parent is the absolute best and most rewarding thing that you’ll ever do.